Having a crappy father means that your child has a crappy grandpa...

Dear Dad,

I cannot do this any more. I have tried and tried to maintain a relationship because I did not want Benjamin to grow up without a grandpa. When JB’s dad passed away when Benjamin 3 years old, I was saddened that he had lost a grandpa who adored him and would do anything for him. I had hoped that you would be able to fulfill the role of the doting and adoring grandpa.

My heart breaks for the memories that Benjamin will never have of spending summer afternoons with his grandpa driving around. No fun stories and laughter to reminisce about when he grows up. I cherish those memories and times with my Papaw and it hurts me so to know that Benjamin will never have those with his own.

You will never know how deeply you have hurt me and the rest of your family. The fact that you have alienated both of your children speaks volumes as to your character. There are many things that speak volumes about your character…cheating on your wife multiple times, at least once with her own sister…the inherent laziness of your life…the alcoholism and abuse for which you have never asked forgiveness…the night that you almost shot my mother with a shotgun in a drunken state. You have never once admitted that you were a drunken mess or asked forgiveness for your ways. I was under the impression that asking for forgiveness from those that you have hurt was part of the AA program…perhaps I was wrong.

I have to protect my son from being hurt again. He is a good kid…honest, hardworking, eager to please, sweet. I will not subject him to hurt feelings and being made to feel unimportant. If having a grandson were important to you…you would make it a point to come visit and see him.

I will tell him that you cannot make it by for a visit. I will tell him the truth…that your truck broke down and you were not able to stop. I will not tell him the whole truth…that if he were more important to his grandpa he would have found a way to make it happen. That stopping in Dallas would not make more than a few hours difference in the trip to West Helena and his grandpa could have managed if he really wanted to.

So for me and my family…if you get a chance to come see us in May…great. I will not set up myself and my son to be hurt once again by anticipating your arrival. Do I sound bitter? Why yes…I probably am a little bitter…no…a lot bitter. But I am also a lot smarter…which in the long run will be safer and easier for my family.

Do I love you…yes, of course I do. You are my father and you gave me a few good things…patriotism, lack of racism, intelligence, love of travel and understanding of things that are different.

Do I like you as a person? Not really…you do not have the qualities of a person that is easy to like. You are inconsiderate, unfaithful, slovenly and in general…mean.

So…I will see when I see you. I hope you have a good Thanksgiving and Christmas.